It’s official, Kunaal has booked his flights and will be in the US again in less than a week, yay! For those of you not keeping track, in the two and a half years that we have been dating, we’ve been together for 13 months, and apart for 18 (not counting occasional week long visits).
First of all let me say, being apart really sucks, there were times when I swear I would give anything just to have a few minutes together. In these moments I would try to remind myself of some things that make being apart ok for now.
Free places to stay in other cities.
Kunaal definitely got the short end of this stick. When I visit him at home I am minutes away from one of my favorite cities in the world. I always go with a plan of things I want to see and do when I go there, and it’s so easy to make it all happen. When Kunaal comes to visit me, he has to first take a 7 hour plane ride, and then a 3 hour train ride, and then a 1.5 hour drive to get to my house. Sorry, I live in the middle of nowhere. When he visits me here we mostly relax and go for walks. He’s also not impressed by the fact that his cell phone doesn’t work.
No bed hogs.
Sharing any size bed with someone who is over 6’ is not easy. It is especially difficult in a full sized bed. Often times when I would feel lonely going to sleep, I would remind myself of how much better I will sleep being able to spread out when I get too warm, or roll onto my other pillow when the one I’m using is too flat. Someday, I swear, we will invest in a huge king sized bed that we can both fit in comfortably, but as long as we’re squeezing into tiny apartments, we’re going to be squeezing into tiny beds.
No boy messes.
The only other man that I have ever shared a living space with is my dad, and he is possibly the neatest, cleanest person that I know. Living with a different boy has introduced me to an entirely new set of messes that I had never encountered before. First of all, girls are definitely not the only ones who’s hair clogs up the shower drain, I think we’ve gotten an unfair reputation for that, and I would also argue that the shorter boy hairs are much more difficult to clean out. Also, those little beard hairs that get stuck in the sink every morning might as well be made of glue. No matter how many times either of us would wipe them out there are always a few left sticking around. Also, just a personal pet peeve of mine, the toilet paper should always be replaced so that the roll hangs over.
There are other reasons why spending some time apart is not the worst thing (even though sometimes it feels like it), “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” or only being able to communicate indirectly forces you to be more open and honest, being apart gives you a greater appreciation for the time you have together. These things are important too, but for me, it was the little things that I would notice everyday that made a bigger difference in how I would manage being apart.
At the end of the day, I think people tolerate the distance because they know that being with that one person no matter how far, is infinitely better than being with anyone else close by.