“Crazy Magic Cupcake Party”
I decided that I’m going to interview each of my fellow bloggers for my last post of the month for the next four months. I haven’t informed Amanda, Kaely, and Rachel of this yet, but after reading this, I have no doubt they’ll be on board. Read on to learn more about Allyssa “Big Al” Battaglia…
This was edited slightly so it wasn’t crazy long. I didn’t change any of Allyssa’s comments, though.
Lori: Ok, let’s get started. First and most importantly, do you mind if I exclusively call you Big Al?
Allyssa: I’m 100% ok with that.
Lori: Good, good. So, Big Al, I’m going to ask you all the questions the world really wants to know. First, and probably most importantly, who is your Mario Kart character of choice?
Allyssa: This is really important to me. Mario Kart is, as you know, a pretty big deal. It’s almost always Toad. Because we’re both little and have high pitched voices.
Lori: Next question: what is your favorite kind of cookie?
Allyssa: That’s really not fair to the cookies. I can’t choose a favorite. But typically, it’s any cookies that have ice cream smooshed between them. I’m not picky. Neither is my stomach.
Lori: I tend to judge people on their answer to that question. You picked the correct answer, which is, of course, all of them. Except for oatmeal raisin, obviously.
Allyssa: Oatmeal raisin is only acceptable if it’s actually monster cookie mix which happens to have a raisin or two and oats. And chocolate. And yum.
Lori: Speaking of food, let’s get into our favorite topic: the Food Network. Which Food Network personality is the absolute worst?
Allyssa: I can’t tell if it’s Guy Fieri in slamma jamma general, or Kevin Brauch’s soul patch. Let’s be honest, it’s all you can even look at when he shows up on Iron Chef. Unappetizing. I used to think it was Sandra Lee, but at least she incorporates booze into her Commons-level food.
Lori: Correct. I would have also accepted Paula Deen.
Allyssa: I don’t know. I have been watching a lot of Paula Deen recently and sometimes she makes chipwiches and that makes me want to forgive her.
Lori: Fair enough. Chipwiches are my favorite kind of sandwich.
Allyssa: Rightly so.
Lori: Can you explain to me why they haven’t forced Ted Allen, Alton Brown, and Justin Willman to live in a house together and film it?
Allyssa: Because they know that you and I would become permanent houseguests and eat all of the food and throw crazy magic cupcake parties. And that’s a little out of control for them.
Lori: Shall we move onto one of our other favorite topics, boy bands?
Allyssa: I rocked out to 98 Degrees today in the car. I’m super ready.
Lori: I’m glad you prepared because I’m about to ask the tough questions.
Allyssa: I can take it.
Lori: Who do you think is the greatest single boy band member of all time?
Allyssa: That’s not fair. Is it based on staying power? Best fashion sense in the 90s? Best fashion sense now? Cutest? Dreamiest, even? Best hair? Who actually sang?
Lori: It’s up to you to decide
Allyssa: Though really, I always had a major soft spot for AJ, being a huge BSB fan (fo lyfeeee), because he was the bad boy that was ok to like. But I also liked Kevin, because he was the strong silent type. I was never that impressed with Justin Timberlake, shock and awe, especially once he lost the fro.
Joey Fatone has staying power though. And likes Food Network, so I’d like to be pals with him.
And best hair, undoubtedly, goes to Chris Kirkpatrick. What was that white yarn in his hair?
See, this was too hard.
Lori: I told you I ask the hard questions.
Allyssa: You’re good.
Lori: I’ll throw you an easier, unrelated question…in your highly reputable medical opinion, what are the chances that I die this weekend after playing 5 soccer games over the course of two days in 90 degree heat?
Allyssa: Well, seeing as I’m clearly a medical expert, and the cats have been laying on every hard wood, well ventilated surface in sight since last night, I can only imagine that you might not make it. Definitely not 5 games (that’s insane). I wouldn’t. But I don’t play soccer, so that might be why…
Lori: Well, if I die and this is my last blog post, maybe we should use this time to explain to the hundreds of readers what “Truths with Lori and Allyssa” is and why it’s so amazing.
Allyssa: No one understands until they’re a part of it. Or we make them part of it whether they realize it or not.
Lori: We basically just spend one night (or a weekend) laying down some serious truths on the world.
Allyssa: Usually over the course of a weekend, we caption life and enlighten the world. And true things happen.
Lori: It’s the truest of all weekends. Do you have any truths you want to share now? This is Honesty Time, after all.
Allyssa: This is Honesty Time. True, true. Oh, that’s a truth. Also, cats are smelly, and sometimes they smell like bathroom spray when they shouldn’t. Truth.
Also, in a more serious truth… Truth: real life is not as fun as college, even though we just ate a lot and wandered around campus and played a lot of Mario Kart. I don’t do nearly enough of that any more.
Lori: Yeah, I mostly just sit and stare at my computer now. Although I still eat a lot.
Allyssa: Trust me, I could always do more eating. I did have cake when I got home from work though. That’s the life an adult. Truth.
Lori: Okay. Enough truth. Want to play a game? It’s a word association game. I’ll say a word and you just say the first thing you think of.
Allyssa: I’m ok with this kind of game.
Lori: Ok let’s start with…cupcake.
Allyssa: Fluffy slobber.
Allyssa: Laxin’ hard.
Allyssa: Fluff in my belly.
Lori: Finding Nemo.
Allyssa: And an antique castle.
Allyssa: Far away bro.
Lori: Alright, I just have one more question before we’re done.
Allyssa: We’re ready (Jasmine is here too).
Lori: She can answer this as well…what is your Patronus?
Allyssa: Damn. Well I’ve always tried to figure this out. And I don’t know if I ever have. It’s honestly probably a cat. Like in all honesty, if I cast the spell now, some form of cat would come out. I’d like to think that it’s a big cat, like a tiger, but Jasmine has informed me that a tiger is definitely hers and no copying allowed. Maybe it’s a lioness. Definitely something feline since I’ve been really into cats all my life, especially since volunteering at the animal shelter.
Lori: Well, I don’t have any more questions for you. Do you have any final words?
Allyssa: That’s another tough question. No, really, my brain is just fried from work today. I guess these are my final words. Also, I really think I’m going to make a chipwich because I’ve been thinking of them non-stop since we started this. Never deprive yourself of a good dessert opportunity, folks. Truth.
Lori: Wise words from a wise bro.
Allyssa: Thank you, bro.
Lori: Thanks for doing this. I feel like we really got into some real stuff here. Enjoy your chipwich.
Allyssa: This was real. It was honesty time without the booze and potential seriousness.
Read more from Allyssa here.