Feeling a little lonely lately? Have nothing to do? Missing your bros? Craving a sing-a-long? Feeling a little…thirsty? Like snacking? Here’s how to reunite with your friends like a boss. An old boss. With a 10:30pm bed time. Shhh. It was fun anyway. Here’s how you can get on my level and have a fabs weekend in 19 easy steps.
- Get invited to a bridal shower.
It’s here. The first wedding in your immediate group of friends. It’s a scary thought. Oh goodness, here comes that “growing up” thing again. That’s ok, because it’s time to get excited for your engaged friends, and even more excited that attending wedding festivities means you will be seeing all of your bros. We all decided to make a great weekend out of this bridal shower. We don’t get the chance to see each other as often as we would like, so instead of just seeing each other on Sunday for the shower, we got wise and planned to spend the entire weekend doing bro activities.
- Drive down a major highway in the middle of a tropical storm.
Ok, I guess this part wasn’t so fun, and it certainly was not all that easy. I was already part way to Lori’s house due to being at work, so even though New Jersey was being drenched with the first tropical storm of the season, I wasn’t about to turn around and go all the way home. So how do you improve this slow-going, very traffic-y drive? Sing-a-long time, my friends. Music of choice on this drive: Next to Normal and Once (perf match for the rain), and a finale consisting of music from Hercules.
- Launch some babies in the air.
Sometimes, you just need a totally random, totally super awesome birthday gift. And sometimes, that birthday gift has a “baby shower” in it. It really is hours of baby launching fun. Sometimes, the unexpected makes for the most fun. I never expected to open a random box and have hideous, big-headed babies be so exciting.
- Go to sleep at a reasonable hour.
This is not a joke. I was definitely in a hard-core, passed out state before 11:30 on Friday night. Hey, it was a workday and I’m getting old. No shame. I needed my rest for the remainder of the weekend, anyway. I was conserving my energy.
- Wake up and get pumped that more bros are on their way.
But don’t get changed out of your pajamas until you absolutely have to. Comfort is key. Watch Boy Meets World until everyone arrives. This is also key.
- Drink Pimm’s and Lemonade and soak up some vitamin D.
This, next to sangria, is definitely my new favorite summer drink. Let’s ignore the fact that we actually used orange drink instead of lemon, but it was amazing. Also, it started raining so we had to go back inside. Lame, Mother Nature, really lame.
- Kill time by launching more babies.
Enough said. It really is thrilling. But it’s all fun and games until you lose a baby under the dresser. They really should sell baby replacement packs.
- Buy Daiquiri mix.
Or don’t. Because the strawberry daiquiri mix that already has rum in it tastes more like death than fruit. Better go sit outside again while the sun is still out to make yourself feel better about this liquid death. Also, learn to spell “daiquiri”. It took us a few tries.
- Play Mad Libs.
Let autocorrect dictate your every move (go ahead, see what your phone thinks “Mad Libs” really should be…). Get the cats involved every time the game asks for a “Person in the room”. I think Mad Libs are more fun now than they ever were as a child. I would say that it’s because of our vastly increased vocabulary, but really it’s because we’re just a whole lot funnier than we were as kids. Daiquiris may have helped.
- Go to sleep at a little less of a reasonable hour. Go wild!
12am! WILD. OUT OF CONTROL. Somebody stop me! But it doesn’t matter, because as long as you end the night with a good chat and friends, it was worth it.
- Re-live college days by getting prettified together.
Remember those college weekend nights when you took a nap from 7pm until 10pm, and then woke up and asked “So, where’s the party at tonight?” And then you all eat and drink a little and put on some really super cute outfits? That’s what this was like. Except it was morning, we were 500% sober, and we were putting on sundresses to go to a real life, bridal event. There was no Dominos involved. No Cheesy Bread, no light up shot glasses, none of that. Those days are long gone. But we looked super cute yesterday. See?
- Reunite with more college/grad school friends.
The more the merrier. We saw lots of other friends at the shower from our glory days. There is nothing like catching up with friends and making plans to get you out of an anti-social funk, which definitely happens when you live so far away from all of your friends. We made some good plans. Big plans. Fun plans. The addendum to this step is making sure the plans actually happen, which is always the hardest part of working with varying schedules. Man, it was so much easier when we could just walk down the hall and knock on a door. Those were the days (but no, really, I’m usually glad they’re over).
- Drink mimosas and take selfies.
First stop: mimosa station. Is there anything even in here? Whatever. Refills please. Also, remember that time I talked about selfies? Well Amanda and I started getting restless, so here’s what happened. Oops. We’re not sorry. And trust me, we sent some pretty ugly selfies to everyone at our table. I won’t share those with the world. But apparently, selfies pass the time while you’re waiting for the bride-to-be to open more gifts. Who knew?
It’s not a party until you have a serving of everything from the buffet table.
- Have another solo sing-a-long.
Eventually, it’s time to leave the party, and hug your bros goodbye (Bros hug. It’s a thing, ok?), and hit the road in order to head back home. This trip’s musical selections: 9 to 5, a little bit of Hair, and a lot of the 90s on 9 satellite radio station. Don’t go chasin’ waterfalls, bro.
- Go get a friend and get ready to snackchat during the Tony Awards.
Oh, do you think that the boredom-buster weekend ends here? No, sir, it does not. It’s time to pick up your pal and snackchat the Tony Awards. What is a snackchat, you ask? Actually, it can be pretty similar to Honesty Time. Except it’s not always that real, and due to some underage participants, there is definitely never, ever any alcohol involved. But snackchats involve talking about life, theatre, people, and eating all of the snacks. Snacks can include, but are certainly not limited to: cheese, chips, ice cream, gluten free cookies, etc. Oh and it also involves not sharing your snacks with anyone else. Snackchatting can be a little selfish. I’m pretty sure that we’re ok with that.
- Reevaluate you life.
That is, you need to question your life when you realize that you wish you were Sandy from Annie solely because the dog totally made out with Neil Patrick Harris in the middle of the Tony’s. Can NPH host my life? Even mundane events would certainly be more thrilling. Cleaning the litter boxes? Check. Running a biology lab investigating fruit flies? A million times better with NPH. Think of the possibilities.
- Remember that Ben and Jerry will always be there for you.
My boyfriends, Ben and Jerry, know how to keep me happy. Also, a good snackchat session involves dessert snacking as well. This is a new rule, just FYI. Though sometimes, snackchatting is only desserts, as it was during Urinetown when my dressing room was mostly cookies and candy. No regrets.
- Mic drop.
How do you end a classy weekend of bro-ing, and Tony snacking? The best way, of course, is by watching a Broadway legend and queen of queens closing out the Tony Awards by dropping the mic. Only made funnier by all of the mic dropping jokes we made this weekend. But really, all I have to say here is FIERCE.
And that’s how to have a great weekend, Big Al style.