Happy summer! Longer, warmer, sunnier days are officially here and, in most places, school is out for the summer! Hooray! My last day of the school year was actually almost two weeks ago, though my kids just graduated last Wednesday.
In honor of summer vacation, I’d like to share a few final pieces of school year fun, in remembrance of my ridiculous classroom location and in honor of the bizarre, hysterical, and out-going kids that I work with on a regular basis.
Lucky me! On one very special day, the partition that separates my usual classroom (the drama classroom) from the gym was left open. You see, in case I haven’t mentioned already, I share a fake wall with the gymnasium, so kids are always shouting and basketballs are always hitting my wall. I can hear almost everything through that flimsy partition. Having the partition wide open made me more distracted than usual and I had a much easier time hearing everything that happened in the gym. On this particular day, it seemed as if all of the students were a little hyper, and that let me hear some very amusing conversations. Here are some of the odder ones.
- “A! C! That’s an ACE!” No. Just…no.
- “Up top! Up Top! Oh yeah!” Is this how we still ask for high fives? Are we Barney Stinson?
- Pokemon music. Definitely the battling music. Who is playing Gameboy during phys ed? And I am not ashamed that I recognized the music almost immediately. No shame!
- “You are the dancing queeeeeen” Probably the most bizarre choice for music I have heard from this class.
- “Okay, everybody on the bleachers! We’re going to split you up now.”
“I don’t want to be halved!”
- “Boom! Roasted!” You have to imagine this being said as if the kid who said it was Baby Brent from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Just do it.
- Baby Brent Boy: “Get off the court!”
Girl: “I’m not on the court!”
Teacher: “Get off the court, you’re in the wrong attire!”
Girl: “I’m not on the court! I’m just passing through!”
Baby Brent Boy: “Boom! Roasted!”
- “My bad my bad my bad!”
“SEMEN” How does this follow that? Who shouts out that word? Especially in school? That’s super inappropriate and I hope to not hear that again.
- Barking. Someone was actually barking. This is odd, but then I also remembered that we had a kid, back when I was a teenager, at my high school who also barked a lot. Is this a thing?
“VERMOUUUUTHHH” or at least that’s what it sounded like to me. It could have also been “Red booth!” or “Big moose!” But “Red Booth” just makes me think of the book The Phantom Tollbooth. Now I want to read that again. Oh, childhood.
And finally, something bizarre overheard in the hallway, because it’s interesting out there too.
- “Dude, I already told you, I don’t want a milkshake.” What’s wrong with you? Why not? Is someone offering you one? I’ll take it. I’ve been craving a milkshake for days now, so I regret not running out there and asking the kid to go get me a milkshake.
I know summer just started, but I’m already looking forward to September, when I will hear more insane quotes from students. My job may stress me out, but when I realize that I genuinely get to laugh big, belly shaking laughs multiple times every single day, I realize just how lucky I am.
And to keep the laughter rolling, here’s some more Baby Brent, just because I love Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs so damn much.
Also for fun, here is how I celebrated the first Monday of summer vacation: in a sugar-shock food coma. My friend and I decided to eat all the sweets we could, and make an awesome gluten free cake (recipe modified to be GF), which is not pictured because I honestly can’t even go look at food ever again, so a picture will have to wait.