Honesty Time

Keeping it real since 2013

When did making friends become hard?


Since we’re doing life updates I was hoping that I would be able to share some pictures of our apartment this week but unfortunately our furniture still hasn’t arrived so mostly what I would be showing you is a big empty room.  Our couch and table and desk, all of the big items, are set to arrive this afternoon so hopefully soon we can stop eating off of the floor.  As romantic as having a picnic for every meal sounds, it gets old pretty quickly.

Something that I’ve been thinking about ever since we’ve arrived here is getting to know people and how to make friends in a new city as an adult.  Growing up I’ve never had trouble making friends, being in class together, playing on sports teams, and in college, living together, made it all very easy.  I think that once you’re out of school it becomes increasingly difficult.  You don’t have the shared experiences or forced interaction with people your own age that ignite friendships.  So far in my experience, I’ve made some new friends through work but it’s much more rare to find a group of people who have the same life experience and are working towards the same goal.  Also, these relationships became much harder to maintain after leaving each position.

I thought maybe it was just me who was worrying about this.  The obvious answer seems to be, just get out and do something, be outgoing- but really, easier said than done.  So, I did a bit of research (googled) this topic to see what other people had to say, and the results were very telling.  Everyone from popular magazines to national newspapers and all of the blogs in-between have covered the topic.  I guess it must be something that causes anxiety for many people.  What do you guys think?  Have you made many friends since graduating?  Do you feel any desire to make grown up friends, or anxiety about it?  It’s funny how something that came so effortlessly as kids suddenly seems like a chore.


2 thoughts on “When did making friends become hard?

  1. I can’t wait to see pictures of the place!
    I think about this a lot. The only new friends I’ve made have been work friends or through work (and it’s like…3 people maybe). I figure it will get easier when I have a new job, but I’ve always wondered how to continue to make friends, in case that’s not enough. I do know, though, that when one of my friends moved to a new state, she went online to find meet-up events in her area. Things like hiking, beach days, bar events, etc. You could always try that.

  2. i was just thinking about this today! i work with some great people, but i don’t really consider them to be real life friends. does that make sense? we spend 40 hours a week together and every once in a while we go to happy hour or whatever, but i still don’t feel like we know all that much about each other’s personal lives.

    i hate making new friends. that’s why i want all of us to live together forever and never talk to any other people. that’s normal, right?

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