Honesty Time

Keeping it real since 2013

Experiments in Smoothie Making


It seems that we have unintentionally created a theme week. We actually have a theme picked for next week, but this week seems to be all about our thoughts on food and recipes. Not that I’m complaining…nor will I deviate from the pack.

To take a somewhat opposite opinion from Kaely, I have to admit that I kind of hate breakfast. No, let me rephrase that, I love breakfast foods, but I hate breakfast time. I could eat nothing but eggs, bacon, bagels, waffles, and muffins forever and live a very happy, fat little life (but not if oatmeal is involved. Oatmeal can go with olives and mushrooms into the group of food I just decided to start calling “Devil’s Vomit”). What I never really seem to be able to do is eat breakfast when you are supposed to. I’ve always had problems eating before 8 am, and recently I’ve been getting to work at 7:30, so you can see how this might pose a problem.

When I was a kid, my mom made me at least eat cereal in the morning, but when I got to college, there was no reason to even be awake before 8 am, never mind to eat something. During the week I ate two meals: lunch and dinner. And on the weekends, I ate three meals: brunch, dinner, and midnight Dominos. Now that I’m a *cough* adult, I’m getting up between 6 and 6:30 every morning to work for 8 or 9 hours a day. And I rarely get myself to eat breakfast. Sometimes I shove a muffin in my face while I drive. Sometimes I bring yogurt with me and force it down when I get to work.

Yes, I also realize that my breakfast eating sounds rather violent. And it almost always results in me spending all morning listening to my stomach growl loudly while I count down the seconds until the clock strikes 12 and it’s acceptable for me to eat lunch. I’ve been making a conscience effort to stop snacking at work. I spend all day sitting. I probably shouldn’t spend all day eating too. And 12 is about the earliest I can eat lunch without getting super hungry again by the time I leave for the day.

So about a week ago, I decided I should do something about this problem. I’ve been seeing this whole “green smoothie” thing all over Pinterest. I love smoothies, so I figured this would be a good solution to my breakfast problem: I’d eat fruit and veggie smoothies every morning, hopefully filling me up in a most delicious and nutritious fashion.

It all started with a purchase of this blender:

It seems like a necessary part of the Smoothie Experience. It was waiting for me outside my door when I got home on Tuesday, so Wednesday morning became Lori’s Smoothie Breakfast Experiment, Take One.

I don’t actually have that many smoothie ingredients, but I do have frozen bananas and strawberries, banana Greek yogurt, milk, and spinach. I’ve read that you aren’t really supposed to mix dairy and fruit, but I don’t have coconut milk or anything else in my house right now (or ever), and I figured milk and yogurt would make for a healthier and thicker smoothie than orange or apple juice.

My ingredients. Minus the soap.

So here’s basically what I did. I took about a cup of milk, the whole thing of yogurt, half a banana, some strawberries, and a heaping handful of spinach and shoved it into the water bottle. I then attempted to blend it. It worked…sort of. I still had some strawberry chunks that wouldn’t die.

Looking delicious so far.

Looking delicious so far.

I then used a spoon to taste it. The color was an extremely unpleasant shade of Puke Pink (the rejected 65th crayon in a Crayola box of 64). It also tasted like straight-up liquid spinach. I actually like spinach too, but this was nasty, especially since I was expecting strawberry and banana.

Note the giant muffin in the background that became my lunch (look past the cat food bowl).

Note the giant muffin in the background that became my lunch (look past the cat food bowl).

So I went back to tackle the bag of fruit, which was frozen together into a solid brick. I managed to break off a bunch more strawberries. I eventually got the taste to a manageable level. The consistency was way too thick, but I was running out of room in the bottle. Also, I had to leave for work and I hadn’t even made lunch yet. I stuck a straw in the bottle to make it easier to drink while driving, grabbed a giant Costco corn muffin to eat for lunch (kind of negates the whole “healthy” thing, but, hey, it’s corn, right?), and was on my way.

Here is what I learned from my first green breakfast smoothie experience:

  • It’s probably important to buy ingredients in addition to buying the blender.
  • Based on the thickness of my smoothies, juice might be the better way to go over milk and yogurt. Actually, coconut or almond milk would probably be best, but who knows if I’ll ever buy that.
  • Liquid vegetables? Kind of gross. The more fruit you add, the more the taste of the really healthy stuff will get masked.
  • If your alarm is set for 6, but you don’t actually get out of bed until 6:15, and your goal is to be out the door by 6:40 at the latest, you should probably make lunch the night before.
  • It kept me full for most of the morning, which is a good sign and means I will definitely continue this experiment for at least a little while longer.
  • Thinking, “This would be so much better with rum” the entire drive to work is probably not the most productive way to start your day.

So, all in all, my first smoothie adventure wasn’t a total success, but it wasn’t a total failure either. And that, my friends, is the story of my life.

That took an unexpectedly depressing turn. Here, look at this cat:

This smoothie is Lori tested, Toby approved.

This smoothie is Lori tested, Toby approved.


Author: Lori

Lori is a writer living and working in New Jersey. Her greatest literary influences are Dr. Seuss, JK Rowling, and Harriet the Spy.

7 thoughts on “Experiments in Smoothie Making

  1. I make smoothies almost every day before I go to the gym. I usually use almond milk, kale, mostly frozen fruit, some fresh fruit, and either yogurt or almond butter for protein. Sometimes I add avocado instead of the almond butter. Really tart fruit gets rid of the veggie flavor (frozen strawberries are usually tarter rather than sweeter, or orange juice).

    I also usually ponder adding alcohol to my smoothies. Especially since the liquor cabinet is right next to where we keep the blender. Problem? Maybe.

    • Yeah, I need to actually invest in more appropriate ingredients, I think. I’ll probably go for coconut milk since I like that flavor better than almond. Today I made a mixed berry (blueberry, raspberry, blackberry) smoothie, and that one was better than yesterday’s. I think my proportions were off with the strawberry banana one.

  2. Everything is better with rum.

  3. Haha, I laughed out loud at those chunks of strawberry.

    Sometimes I add peanut butter to thicken it up. It’s really good with a banana and vanilla yogurt. Probably wouldn’t add any veg to that one though.

    I want a smoothie right now.

    • Haha once I start adding peanut butter, I imagine it won’t be long before I start just making straight up milkshakes….

  4. Pingback: 101 Things I Love | Honesty Time

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