WordPress has this great feature where you can see what people searched on Google/Yahoo/Bing/AskJeeves (that’s still a thing, right?) that led to them finding your blog. Most of the time it just says “unknown search terms,” but sometimes the search terms are available. And amazing. While I can follow the track of how most of these things led back to Honesty Time, I still think they are kind of hilarious. I tried to narrow it down as much as possible, but it was hard. There are so many good ones. Here are my top 25 favorite ones, followed by my commentary and the first picture that came up when I Google Image searched the same phrase:
1. “mcdonalds backstreet boys britney spears” — Because, obviously.
2. “rugrats go wild” — I’m not entirely clear on why a general search for this movie led back to us, but I’m not complaining about the association.
3. “and the cronuts – 2 broke girls itunes” — We mentioned cronuts once on this entire blog (I checked), in my interview with Kaely. We mentioned the show “Two Broke Girls” a total of zero times. I’m flummoxed.
4. “lint infestation” — Ew?
5. “harriet the spy mean girls” — This one makes me happy.
6. “i m a guy who lifts just the bar at gym” — Let’s ignore the fact that this search led to our blog, and focus on who this guy is. Was he looking for a contingent of other men who don’t put weights on the bar at the gym? Is this something to be ashamed of or proud of? Is it weird that I kind of want to search this now myself to find out the answers to these questions?
7. “honesty fish” — I think we can all agree that we missed the boat on naming our blog. Is it too late to change it to Honesty Fish?
8. “i miss my fish but they died sad emo icon” — I feel for you my friend. I have lost many fish in my day. You just have to keep your head up. Just know, it gets easier. You will never forget your fishy friends, but some day you will be healed enough to open your heart again to others. Also, I move that “emoticons” be renamed to “emo icons.”
9. “things that are long” — This is so ridiculous I don’t even have a clever response. Just…why?
10. “why is “making friends” so difficult” — Things just got really sad. I’ll be your “friend.”
11. “give a cat benadryl” — Please don’t. I’m not a vet, but I’m going to say that giving your cat human medication is probably not the best idea.
12. “on being old” — We’re all 24/25 years old here. Probably not the best sources for advice on old age.
13. “its ok to take time off from shool” — For most people, yes, it probably is okay. But my advice is don’t take time off from school until you learn how to spell “school” (or if you’re Jewish, “shul.” Which you still spelled wrong.)
14. “jonathan rhys meyers french kiss” — Please and thank you.
15. “what kind of cake is it that doby floats in harry potter” — Your biggest concern in that scene is the kind of cake? Personally, I believe it’s a chocolate cake with far too much icing, and also what I can only assume are supposed to be cherries, but look more like tomatoes. Now I’m wondering what kind of cake it really is.
16. “how to not feel nauseous” — Read this blog every day. Doctor’s orders.
17. “want to write a comment to blimp in shark week.” — Is there a Shark Week blimp? I want to write a comment on it! How can we make this happen?
18. “i need to feel feeling warm all the time” — Currently, New Jersey is being bombarded by yet another blizzard. I’d like to feel warm all the time too.
19. “lorie should we get together so there’s nobody in our bed tonight” — I feel really uncomfortable right now.
20. “lord voldemort lame villain” — How dare you! We don’t want your kind reading our blog.
21. “big fish ending makes me cry” — We should start a Big Fish support group.
22. “why are people so interested in watching survivor” — Ugh. I really hope my post explained it to you and now you are as obsessed with it as all people should be.
23. “quotes xanga not sorry for being real and you get angry least im honest maybe you should try it” — There is a lot going on in this one. You should never be sorry for being real on Xanga. We’re all about keeping it real here. Haters gonna hate.
24. “where did the idea for chuckie finster come from” — He’s not a mythical creature. He’s just a nerdy, red-headed baby. Is that so rare?
25. “whats phil of the futures name” — My guess? Probably Phil.
We welcome all who find this blog, no matter how you do so. Yes, even those that think Voldemort is lame are welcome to stay and check us out…