Being an adult is hard. No one ever said it would be easy. I guess with all the things you’re expected to do as an adult, like going grocery shopping and paying your taxes, you would think that other things you’re so used to doing continue to be natural. But unfortunately, we’re so consumed with our own lives. And I’m not saying that’s wrong; we have to be in order to keep the standard of living we like. Some things get put on the back burner when life gets busy. I’ve noticed in my own life, even though I myself don’t have a million things to do, my relationships with my friends has suffered as we’ve moved on from school. This post isn’t supposed to be a sob story and “poor me” because of all this…I’ve just had it on my mind lately so hear me out.
I think, with the natural progression through school, it’s bound to happen that we fall out of touch with certain people and become fully engrossed in new relationships. As a teenager, I didn’t have friends in high school that I hung out with outside of the hallways. I would see them in class, eat lunch with them, chat on the way to the bus. But I didn’t spend time after school or go to parties on weekends or go out to dinner frequently with them. They were all nice enough (mostly), but they were never friendships that panned out over time, even though I’m still “friends” with them on Facebook. It may sound like an excuse, but I never had time for a social life after school hours because I was always at the barn or a horse show. Hours upon hours upon hours were spent with my friends at the barn. Long weekends at horse shows, lessons after school, camp all summer…basically all day every day for close to a decade. It’s funny thinking about it now though, as I wonder if any of us really would have been friends outside of the horse world. They all had their different groups of friends and interests beyond horses, so it’s something I think about now that we’ve all moved on to other things in our lives. When we all went off to college, we all promised that we’d visit each other and keep in touch. Social media was just taking off at that point, so it made conversation easier, along with occasionally texting, but I never journied to their schools. I’d see them during school breaks when they were home, but only briefly. Once we were all in college and trying to figure out what we were all doing with our lives and making new friends, that was the priority. These days, I’m trying to make more of an effort (thank you social media!) to be aware of what they’re all doing and where they are, now that we’re all a few years removed from college. We’ve always had back and forth “we should get together” talk, but I’d like to make the effort to actually make that happen.
This day in age wih social media, we always know what everyone is doing, whether they want us to or not. I find this frustrating because more often than not, people are contradicting themselves. We live in a world where we sometimes make excuses, and other times give no information at all. Don’t tell me you can’t do something with me because you’ve got something going on, then SnapChat me a picture of you doing something else completely! Just tell me from the get-go what’s really going on. My friends from college are spread out all over the place which makes getting together difficult. But it’s not often that anyone takes the initiative to get everyone together. I often feel like I’m the only one, and when I do, I get responses that are so enthusiastic, but when it comes time to confirm something, I get “I can’t”s from everyone. Now look, I get everyone is busy with work and weekends are the only times anyone has to get together anymore. And maybe it’s because I’m a little crazy with organization, but I’m a planner. And I like to plan ahead knowing when I’ll see my friends. I take it seriously because, as mentioned before, I never had much of a social life when I was younger and I cherish the friendships I have now. And, not to mention, who knows what the future holds? Why can’t we take advantage of being young with hardly any commitments to enjoy each other’s company? As much as I sit here and say all this, I’m afraid that with certain groups of friends, not much will change. Again, I feel like I’m the one to take more initiative when it comes to these certain people….I think to make myself feel better about it, I need to do something. I don’t talk to everyone enough. I should text individuals more. Call, even. Send them mail. Any little thing I suppose. I know I can be a better friend. We all can, in the end. But I don’t think any one of us can sit around and say we all want to get together and see what’s going on with everyone and not do anything. We need to be proactive. I’m so afraid to regret not being as sociable as I could have been in my twenties, and I think everyone else should be too.
Sorry if this sounds too much like me pouring my feelings (#nofeelings?) into what should be a dear diary entry and not a blog post. I’m just tired of waiting around wondering if plans are going to be made here and there. Thank goodness these bros are easy to plan with. The summer is going to fly by, the rest of you people! Let’s make the most of it with our friends while we can! Music!