Honesty Time

Keeping it real since 2013

A Non-Coffee Drinker’s Morning While Hopped Up on Coffee: A Hero’s Journey

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I stayed up later than I usually do on a weeknight to watch the season finale of “Survivor.” I then woke up earlier than I usually do to listen to the season finale of “Serial” before work. My lack of sleep last night led me to do something I almost never do: start off my morning with a cup of coffee. I then kept a running log of my morning at work.

8:04 Just got to my desk. My legs are shaking.

8:10 Read Kaely’s post about Serial. Freaking out about Serial. I need answers!!!!

8:12 High-fived my coworker.

8:20 I just spent the last 10 minutes reading my own Honesty Time blog posts about Survivor. Why?

8:25 Seriously, is it normal for my legs to be bouncing this much?

8:32 I really wish I had toothpaste cause my mouth feels gross. Stupid coffee.

8:40 Oh my god. I have to pee.

8:45 I found gum in my purse!

8:50 I should probably do some work today.

8:51 Remember that time when Keith came thissss close to winning Survivor? Lawl.

8:52 For a relatively bad season of Survivor, the ending was surprisingly exciting and fun. I’m so glad Natalie pulled out the win. Love a fellow Jersey girl.

8:54 Am I chewing really loudly? I feel like I am.

8:55 Serial twist ending: MailKimp girl did it! 😮

8:57 I’m not sure my body is equipped to handle caffeine.

8:58 Why doesn’t the word “caffeine” follow the “i before e except after c” rule? It doesn’t even sound like neighbor or weigh. English is stupid. Says the English major who now has a career based on writing/editing.

9:00 #tbt to that time I took a picture of my cat sleeping. Memories.

9:10 My legs aren’t bouncing anymore!

9:13 I feel like every Imagine Dragons song sounds like it’s by a different band. But I like them all.

9:14 That previous thought wasn’t that random: I’m listening to my Pandora station, which always supplies me with a fair amount of Imagine Dragons music. In fact (to the surprise of no one, I’m sure), it’s basically entirely Imagine Dragons, The Avett Brothers, Mat Kearney, The Lumineers, Of Monsters and Men, City and Colour, Phillip Phillips, Mumford & Sons, and OneRepublic. Also, weirdly, The 1975.

9:18 Rachel is here! Via Gchat.

9:25 I feel a little nauseous. No. Nauseated. Right? I think “nauseated” is the correct form of the word to use here.  I stand by my previous statement: English is stupid.

9:30 I’ve gotten a surprising amount of work done in the last 40ish minutes.

9:35 Last night I spent 45 minutes on the phone with my parents. I think I spent at least 10 minutes describing in great detail to my mom what my fish and frog were doing in my aquarium.

9:40 I feel like I’m calming down a bit now.

9:49 Diana is here now too! Also via Gchat.

9:55 Intense conversations about Serial with Diana. Who did it?! I need to know.

10:04 I have to pee again.

10:11 My hands are shaking now. I think I hate coffee.

10:12 Ah, the time of day where it starts getting loud. This is why I come to work so early. I get a good hour and a half of peace and quiet before the office fills up with other people. Other people are the worst. (I love my coworkers, but I hate loud noises.)

10:17 This has been my face all morning:

10:24 Now it’s time to talk about Serial with my coworker, who is more obsessed than even me.

10:30 It makes me happy when Gchat does this:


10:39 My brain has calmed down a lot. I mostly just feel tired again. But no more coffee. Caffeine is the devil. I’ll power through the day like I do with every other day: with sheer willpower and a lot of music.

10:44 You know what song is fun? “Lost Myself in Search of You” by Matt Nathanson.

10:50 Alright, I have a meeting to go to in 10 minutes and I think it’s safe to assume that my coffee jitters are gone and no one cares about anything I’m saying anymore (or ever). It’s been real. Have a good day, everyone.

11:58 Nevermind. My meeting just got moved to 11:30 so you get more of me! Lucky you.

11:06 More Serial talk:

11:22 I don’t actually have anything else to say. I think my brain has just shut off now.

11:24 Diana is a good friend. She knows just when to pull out a hilarious Rob Has a Podcast reference:


11:26 Mmmkay. Bye for realz.


Author: Lori

Lori is a writer living and working in New Jersey. Her greatest literary influences are Dr. Seuss, JK Rowling, and Harriet the Spy.

One thought on “A Non-Coffee Drinker’s Morning While Hopped Up on Coffee: A Hero’s Journey

  1. 8:55 is the truth. I’ve been suspicious of her from the start.

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