Why does February, the shortest month of the year, feel like the longest? Oh, right. Because it’s filled with no good holidays to look forward to (sorry all you fans of Valentines Day, but that is NOT my thing) and every day is just cold. It’s a different kind of cold that you feel in November or December because with the holidays coming and only just getting used to the colder temperatures, no one seems to mind it that much. Even January doesn’t feel so bad, maybe because we’re still on our holiday high or haven’t had that first real snowfall. But February, ugh February is the Debbie Downer of all the months. At this point, we’re all just ready for St. Patrick’s Day and spring to come around. I don’t know about all of you, but I just feel lost and stir crazy and don’t know what to do with myself in February. So here I am, anxiously awaiting March 1st in hopes of feeling like we’re turning a corner. Here’s a list of things to do while doing such waiting. Join me, won’t you?
- Shop for bathing suits, shorts, flip flops, etc. only.
- Stock up on sunscreen before stores jack up all the prices come Memorial Day.
- Drool at television and radio commercials for places of warmer weather, beaches, sunshine, tans, vacations….dear god make it stop.
- Acquire blankets. Become human burrito.
- Eat all the food because the animals are on to something with this hibernation thing.
- We all know that drinking hot liquids don’t really warm us up. The only thing that does that is…alcohol. So, cheers.
- Set computer desktop to a beach. Cover all windows with pictures and posters of tropical places.
- Take up playing the steel drums.
- Pretend you’re stuck on a deserted island and send out messages in a bottle aka you’re trapped in your snow covered house and can barely even get to the mailbox.
- Discard (*destroy) any decorations that are winter related. Shame on you if you still have Christmas decorations up.
- Study to become a meteorologist because what the hell, everyone else is.
- Seriously reconsider any friendships you have with people who claim they love the cold and the snow and bundling up in layers.
- Damn the children who get a snow day from school when you still have to somehow toboggan, sleigh ride, ice skate, skid, and slide your way to work. The joy they have while sledding down hills while you curse the very snow they ride on.
- Research the proper way to use your body when shoveling snow, because newsflash, you’re only getting older and things start hurting a lot more than they used to. Shoveling snow ain’t no easy task. Oh yeah, you have to shovel. Snow is not fun.
How many days until spring? Dear god hurry up I can’t take it any longer.