Honesty Time

Keeping it real since 2013

A Message From The OTHER Cat

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Hi!

My mommy is very sleepy right now and we are all cuddled up on her abnormally warm blanket, ready for sleep.

I plan to get a full 4 hours before I go for my race horse run around the bed. 

How else do you think I stay so trim in this Italian house?

Mommy is tired. Again. Just like last week. Except this week she is making funny noises out of her mouth and nose. 

She sounds like my sister Licorice, who snores allllllll night. But mommy isn’t snoring. She’s awake. How strange. 

Mommy also told me that she’s really glad that she can’t smell my food anymore. Why? She’s missing out. It’s so nice and fishy! I love mushy fish parts for dinner! 

And breakfast. 

And snack. 

And lunch. 

As a matter of fact, I’ve learned that if I meow the words “right now!” at any point, my grandma will feed me mushy fish. Whenever I want!!!! Best trick ever. Who’s training who? Amiright??? 

Speaking of food, mommy brought home new flowers last night! Some young humans gave them to her. I was so excited that I decided to eat one!

Then I remembered that flowers hurt my dainty belly so I spit it out. I hope mommy finds it and cleans it because I know how much she hates spit flowers in the floor. I don’t mind it, but she does. Weird.

She took the flowers out of our room right before bed time and told me that I was gross. Why did she take the pretty flowers away?

Oh. Oh. I guess she found my present. 

But now she won’t be able to have the flowers make her room smell delightful!

Oh. Right. She keeps saying her nose doesn’t work anymore. Well. I liked the way they smelled. So sweet and floral. So yummy. 

No. Stop. Must not eat flowers. Bad.

So yummy!! 

Tummy ache 😦

I might have to leave mommy another present. 

Funny, it was my 10th birthday yesterday and I’m the one giving her presents. I’m so selfless. 

Though yesterday she did cuddle up close to me and gave me lots of extra pets and chin rubs. 

I don’t understand why people don’t give each other chin scratches. They have no idea what they’re missing. Instead they hold each other’s big paws and give death hugs (run away!!!), when they could just be scratching their chins. But they never do. Which is why humans never purr. Because they don’t know the joy. Sad. 

I hope that mommy stops working so many jobs soon so I can spend more time with her. I need more chin runs. Also, when she rescued me nearly 4 years ago, I thought we would always spend lazy days together. But then she did this thing she calls “being an adult” and I hate it. The picture below is the super comfortable position I sit in when I wait for mommy. 



She’s never home. 

But I guess that’s ok because then I get  to spend time wth grandma teaching her that “right now” trick. Quality time. 

Well, it’s time for my “me” nap. 

See what I did there? Because I’m a cat? Get it?

And my old owners said I had no personality. Hah!

Kisses,

Jasmine

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Author: Allyssa Ellen

A costumer, a makeup artist, an educator, and a librarian, all rolled up into one convenient, fun-sized package.

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